I'm Sick of It, and You Should Be Too

 

From the beginning, babies have been picked apart for their appearances. People saying that their eyes are too small, heads are too big, skin too dark. We receive a lot of verbal affirmations that have to do with praising our appearance, with phrases such as "Your eyes are so pretty!" or "Your legs are so long." I can even remember one of my great uncles telling me I would grow up to be a "heart-breaker," (like a kid would know what that means, or at least I didn't). A classmate in the fourth grade once told me that I had so much arm hair, it reminded her of a gorilla. Do you want to know how much that affected me? I tried to cover my arms as much as I could, wearing long-sleeve tops, or even begging my mom in the sixth grade to let me shave my arm hair off. Dr. Daron Gersch, an ER Trauma and Medical Director at CentraCare Hospital in Minnesota, wrote that children as young as 3 years of age can have body image issues, as their opinions of their bodies form at a young age. As a little girl, I was undeniably self-conscious and believed that getting rid of my arm hair would make me feel a whole ton better. I vividly remember the first time I shaved my arms; it was so freeing because I treated that hair like chains, which I believed always held me back. However, that feeling of freedom lasted only a short time. It took me a while to recognize the hold peoples' opinions and standards for me had tied me down and affected my self-esteem.

Beauty is not defined by what we see on the outside of ourselves. If we only shower our kids or the people around us with compliments, then they will only do things for the approval of others, rather than for themselves. There is so much more to you than the eyes can see. Once we feel beautiful on the inside, we will feel beautiful on the outside, so stop comparing and start filling yourself up with all the things that you want to be. 

There's a trend going around where people have been telling each other compliments that don't have to do with what we look on the outside. Blogger Sasha Paul has a beautiful post on her site Natural Food Therapy, and she has some more inspirational compliments that we can say to the people around us. So what are some non-appearance compliments you can tell others? Here's a couple I came up with:

• I am grateful for the way you show up for me. 
• I admire your passion and drive. 
• You are the most incredible friend. 
• Your laugh is contagious. 
• I feel so comfortable around you. 
• You are so strong and resilient. 
• You light up every room you enter. 
• You have the best energy. 
• I love that I can be myself around you. 
• You are such a great listener.
• You make me feel seen, heard and valued. 

It's easy to tell people to love themselves, but it really is a challenging task. It took me a while to figure out that I am beautiful for not what I look on the outside, but because deep down I know I am worth more and there so much more to me than what meets the eye. I loved reading a post written by Amanda McCracken about how to love yourself, and she really delves into the practices of finding self-love. Let's stop commentating on people's bodies and start appreciating what really matters, which is their heart, energy, and the way they choose to show up in this world. We all need a little reminded sometimes ❤️